You’re Welcome, England

Deport Piers Morgan PetitionEngland, you owe us. You owe us big.

The White House defended Morgan’s First Amendment right to free speech regarding the Second Amendment right to bear arms.

The White House officially responded to a petition to deport Piers Morgan on Wednesday by defending the CNN anchor’s right to free speech regarding the Second Amendment right to bear arms.

“Let’s not let arguments over the Constitution’s Second Amendment violate the spirit of its First,” White House press secretary Jay Carney wrote in the response. “Americans may disagree on matters of public policy and express those disagreements vigorously, but no one should be punished by the government simply because he or she expressed a view on the Second Amendment — or any other matter of public concern.”

Morgan tweeted in response, “President Obama has officially decided I am NOT being deported.”

Honestly, the White House could have played the deportation cleverly. The President could have dispatched Morgan to England along with the bust of Winston Churchill he rejected four years ago. Then, once Morgan’s plane was out of U.S. airspace, it would have been a simple matter for him to mysteriously misplace Morgan’s VISA paperwork. “Sorry ol’ chap, ol’ bean”, he’d tell Morgan in that same tone of voice he uses to explain why we all have to pay for the birth control of a grown woman with a college education. “Awfully big bureaucracy over here and sometimes things just get lost. Why don’t you reapply and we’ll get right on it just as soon as we fix this whole illegal immigration thing?”

Problem solved. Easy-peasy. Oh, sure, the Brits will be cross with us for a little while but this isn’t 1812. They’ll get over it. On the other hand, he’s doing quite a bit of damage over here for which he ought to be held accountable. And while we won’t deport him (of course we won’t because we’re far better people than Morgan believes us to be), we ought to ensure his particular brand of media-trolling isn’t rewarded any more than it already has.