Quick! Give Everyone a B-Minus So We Can Feel Good!

Feb 25, 2013

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Maxine WatersThank God for Maxine Waters. Truly, I mean that. Whenever I need a quick dose of crazy for the site, all I have to do is see if she’s given a speech lately. If she has — if she recently said, for instance, that we need to increase the minimum grade in schools — then my work is easy.

The Fair Academic Standards Act is a clear indication of the philosophical difference between Democrats and Republicans. My party, the Democratic Party, has tried to raise the minimum grade for nearly 10 years because we believe in academic fairness.  Mr. Speaker, C- is totally unacceptable. No student can be academically successful with letter grades below C-. American students deserve better, and students and their parents expect their representatives to assist them in their quest for decent grade point averages (GPAs).


Mr. Speaker, millions of students will benefit from raising the minimum grade. The grade gap between the academically challenged students and their more academically talented peers is growing, and that’s fundamentally unfair. Too many students are earning low grades through no fault of their own, which causes them to suffer unnecessary hardships. When we pass this bill and outlaw letter grades below C- forever, we will all feel better about ourselves.

Oh, wait. She didn’t actually say that. She actually said something every bit as dumb about the minimum wage (and thanks to Mark Perry for his creative revision) and how, if we raise it by a whole lot, it’ll make us all feel simply wonderful. Isn’t that what it’s all about, really? Feeling wonderful?